Part 5, Carol Look

Things have been busy. Here is part 5. Only two left and then on to other topics. Dawn

Part V

Hi Everyone,

Here is Dr. Carol Look's 5th installment in her weight loss series. This is a very practical look at how to get an otherwise stubborn case turned in the right direction. There are many skillful insights and creative phrases in this case that merit your study.

Hugs, Gary


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"Susan" came to me complaining of being "stuck in a rut" as she had gained back 30 pounds in a 3 year period. The last 6 months had been the most stressful because of a chronic struggle with depression, the stress leading up to her wedding, her expensive honeymoon in a foreign country, and her adjustment to married life.

She described late afternoons as her "dangerous" time of day for eating because she said she craved sweets at about 3:00pm at work, no matter what she had for lunch. We began tapping on this simple issue to see if any emotional layers surrounding the cravings surfaced.

"Even though I crave sweets in the afternoon, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway."

"Even though I always want M&M's every afternoon, I deeply and completely..."

Susan stated, "I think they are my reward for the stress at work. They allow me to take a break." We continued to tap:

"Even though I eat when I feel overwhelmed by stress, I deeply love and accept myself."

"Even though eating sweets feels like a reward, I deeply..."

I asked Susan what other times of the day triggered her compulsive overeating.

"After work I go home, plop myself in front of the television and stuff myself."

"What do you think is going on emotionally?"

"I'm not sure..."

We started tapping again:

"Even though I overeat in front of the television, I deeply and completely accept myself." Susan said, "I don't really feel like accepting of myself because I think it's kind of disgusting...but I think I made an important connection."

When in college, Susan would only be able to concentrate and study well when she overate in her dorm room. She would eat and eat while typing papers or studying for exams. She said, "It helped me to concentrate."

I asked her to connect the college eating with her eating in front of the television after work.

"It's the only way I can concentrate after work."

"Why do you need to concentrate after work?"

"It's the only way I can distract myself and leave work behind."

She identified that the television watching wasn't key--as she had previously thought. However, she felt compelled to stuff herself with junk food in order to keep her mind off of work. "I need the food to help me focus on the television which helps me ignore the stress of work." Susan said she felt desperate to unhook from overwhelmed feelings from work stress, and eating was her way to do that.

I asked Susan what else she "needed" after work.

"I need to relax after work, and unwind, but I can't seem to feel relaxed unless I overeat." We tapped as follows:

"Even though I need to eat to relax and feel calm, I deeply..."

"Even though stuffing myself calms me down, I deeply..."

"Even though overeating feels soothing after a long hard day..."

"Even though I can't feel relaxed unless I'm eating/overeating..."

Somewhere around her chin spot Susan began laughing. "That's so silly...there are obviously other ways that I can feel relaxed."

"Like what?"

"Well, I could go to the gym or I could write in my journal."

"Did you think of these before?"

"Well they seem so obvious but they didn't occur to me until now. They would of course be more relaxing than overeating while watching bad TV shows."

Susan literally couldn't access these reasonable alternatives to her overeating behavior until the tapping loosened up the associations and relieved some of the anxiety.

"What other connections are you making?"

"The stress at work of having to prove myself in sales is making me feel awful. And it makes me feel deprived."

(Deprivation is my favorite theme for weight loss clients) We continued to tap:

"Even though I feel deprived because of the pressure at work..."

"Even though I overeat when I feel deprived..."

"Even though I'm tired of having to prove myself in front of my boss..."

Susan said, "Now I feel guilty."

"Why?"

"Because it's so silly and selfish to feel deprived. I have so much in my life, like my health, my parents and my husband. I shouldn't feel deprived."

"Even though I still feel deprived when I shouldn't..."

The following week Susan looked different in her "affect" and sounded different in her tone. Her compulsive overeating after work had definitely calmed down, and she had been attending the gym more regularly. She admitted she was still making poor food choices for dinner, but felt she was moving in the right direction. She felt less clouded, less depressed, and more hopeful.

While she was convinced that putting the clocks forward had something to do with her new feelings of well-being, she couldn't deny that the tapping had helped turn around her attitude and perspective. Most importantly, she felt hopeful she could make a commitment to a new weight loss/health program instead of spiraling downward. The upwards momentum felt wonderful to her and changed her outlook about everything.

Nonetheless she still felt deprived, although the focus of these feelings this week was connected to her husband's attention. He works a night shift while she holds a nine-to-five job.

We tapped for "Even though we don't have enough quality time together..." and "Even though I miss my husband's attention..." and she continued to feel more hopeful. It was physically and emotionally obvious that former limiting beliefs and feelings of discouragement about her capabilities to lose weight had been dramatically diluted.

In this case, my client's excess weight has not begun to fall off yet, but we both could identify significant progress. Susan will continue to aim her tapping at feelings of deprivation and stress as key emotional drivers to her compulsive overeating. She admitted she still felt afraid to make the final commitment, but was delighted she was so much closer to taking this step. She felt like a "new person." This, I told her, was the perfect starting point to losing weight. Feeling the way she had before---discouraged, depressed, lethargic, self-hating---had only inhibited her ability to even imagine that she could successfully lose weight.

In my experience, too many clinicians and clients become discouraged at this point only because the scale is not registering dramatic losses. This is the time to keep tapping on the underlying themes as well as the behavior until the subtle shifts gain momentum and direct the client to new behavior and visible results.

Carol Look, C.S.W., D.C.H.