Tomorrow, a new topic. STANDING in Holy Places. Blessings, Dawn
Part VII
Hi Everyone,
Dr. Carol Look gives us the 7th installment in her very popular weight loss series.
Please note that very few of the tapping issues in this case are for food and cravings. Instead, Carol addresses the many underlying issues that form the foundation beneath the need to overeat. You might wish to copy down a list of the many issues involved. They represent a very helpful checklist for future use with overweight clients.
Hugs, Gary
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"Patti" called me in the middle of April for sessions to help her lose weight. She had attended the Flagstaff, Arizona EFT Specialty Conference and had participated from her seat in the audience in my 3-hour presentation for weight loss. She had lost 9 lbs. since then (March 18th) but was frustrated by hitting a 2-week plateau.
During her 1st session (90 minutes), Patti told me she had always felt fat, had been told she was fat by an ex-husband, and had basically been obsessed with her body image and weight problems her whole life. We tapped as follows:
"Even though I feel fat, and always have, I deeply love and accept myself anyway."
"Even though I believe I'm fat...Even though I'm convinced I'm too big..."
"Even though I feel huge and fat now when I look at myself..."
Her SUD's level (level of intense emotion on a scale of 0-10) on these issues dropped dramatically. Patti looked at her body and admitted she had a decent figure after all.
We also tapped for Patti's addiction to/cravings for carbohydrates.
I asked Patti if feelings about family members or friends were contributing to this plateau. She admitted that she felt guilty losing weight because her mother was overweight. In fact, when she visited her mother after having lost 9 lbs., her mother was anxious and uptight, tried to "feed" her and gave her extra high calorie food to take home. We tapped as follows:
"Even though I know I'll feel guilty if I lose more weight and my mother stays fat..."
"Even though I feel guilty now because I lost weight and she feels uncomfortable..."
"Even though I still feel guilty about being thinner than my mother..."
Again, her SUD's levels dropped significantly and she felt more detached.
Patti said "I'm sabotaging my personal weight loss to protect myself from my mother and my success" and felt trapped by certain limiting beliefs about her success.
"Even though I'm never successful at what I want to do...and the more I want it the less able I am to accomplish it..."
"Even though I can't be successful without my mother's support..."
"Even though she won't give me her support if I'm successful..."
"Even though I don't feel safe when I'm successful...I'm afraid to lose more weight..."
Patti then described painful feelings surrounding her perfectionism and became severely anxious during this discussion. We continued tapping.
"Even though I feel the pressure to be perfect...."
"Even though I'm not perfect but want to be..."
"Even though I wish I could accept myself as not perfect..." (during some of the reminder phrases we used "I choose to accept myself even though I'm not perfect")
Patti described her "if only" game in which she could never arrive at her goal. There was always a sense of "if only I could lose this weight...then I could be successful."
She then revealed a prejudice that was getting in her way. "I hate fat people because they aren't perfect." So we tapped for that phrase. "Even though I hate fat people because they're not perfect...and NEITHER AM I..." This turned into "Even though I hate fat people because they resent me and disapprove of me..."
Patti had had a few experiences at the conference where women who were considerably more overweight than she was criticizing her for having "issues" with her body/weight. In addition, she felt her mother's resentment and disapproval. After these few rounds of tapping, she noticed a dramatic and clear cognitive shift. She no longer felt this prejudice against others or herself. (This was a critical shift since Patti wished to work as a therapist with overweight clients).
We then addressed additional beliefs that were impeding Patti's weight loss progress.
"Even though I'll probably gain the weight back like I always have..."
"Even though (no matter what) it has to be a struggle to keep the weight off..."
"Even though I believe I always have to be on guard or else I'll gain it back..."
Again, some of the reminder phrases were "I choose to feel relaxed about my body, I choose to feel peaceful about my weight loss...safe about my weight loss and success."
Finally, we tapped for the extreme guilt she feels after eating and her overall anxiety about food:
"Even though I want to release the guilt about overeating..."
"Even though I give food too much power and I'm tired of being anxious all the time..."
We ended with a visualization of her at her goal weight and tapped for any discomfort.
During our 2nd session (45 minutes) Patti reported being in control of her food portions and that she had lost an additional 3 lbs. with ease, although she continued to feel guilty when she wasn't hyper-vigilant about watching what she ate. We tapped as follows:
"Even though I don't feel safe letting down my guard..."
Another important limiting belief surfaced. Patti said, "If I lose the weight, I'll have to excel at what I want to do." This was a "downside" (or pressure) of her reaching her weight loss goal. We continued to tap around safety issues for losing more weight:
"Even though I still feel unsafe about getting thinner..."
"Even though THEY won't feel safe if I lose more weight..."
"Even though I'm afraid to change..."
Then I asked her what the downside was of her feeling successful and powerful. Patti replied, "I wouldn't know how to be in the world. I've always been an underachiever. I only know myself as someone with dreams who never follows through. It won't feel like me unless I am unhappy at what I am doing professionally." We tapped for all of these phrases, alternating "I choose" with positive/negative statements for the reminder phrase.
"Even though I'm afraid to step into my power...(I can feel safe stepping into my power)"
"Even though I've never been good enough because I'm not perfect...I AM good enough"
"Even though I let myself get distracted so I can avoid my power..."
"Even though I think I'm a fraud so I block my power..."
(Notice there was minimal tapping for food, eating habits, or actual pounds during these sessions).
During Patti's 3rd session we focused on her tendency not to live up to her potential, the "upside" of this behavior, and how she felt unprotected when she was thinner. She described a deep sense of loneliness about the loss of a major relationship that had been contributing to her eating this winter. We tapped on a physical lump in her throat as well as the feeling of loneliness. We tapped more on the theme of feeling unsafe and vulnerable when being powerful and successful, as well as the threat her mother might feel about her progress.
We ended with another visualization of her at her goal weight and tapped for any emotional or physical feelings of discomfort. Her homework assignments were to tap for "feeling inadequate," "fear of changing" and "not feeling safe."
Patti canceled her 4th session (6/5/01) because she had reached her goal weight (actually 1 = pounds below her goal) and had lost a total of 20 pounds since 3/18/01. In a follow-up phone call (7/11/01) Patti said she had maintained her 20 lb. weight loss and summarized her progress as follows:
1. "I feel in control of myself and my eating."
2. "I no longer feel fearful of food."
3. "I don't have any more guilt after I eat."
4. "There's no more body hatred or severe self-criticism."
5. "I am enjoying food more than ever."
We scheduled a follow-up session for some anxiety about a new relationship and the anticipatory fear that she might gain back some weight.
Carol Look
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Part VI
Hi Everyone,
This installment in Dr. Carol Look's weight loss series focuses on a client who, to the eyes of others, doesn't have a weight problem. To her own eyes, however, she is overweight with attendant negative body image issues.
Body image issues often serve to undermine self-confidence and thus anything we can do to resolve them points toward major life changes. Accordingly, Carol's message below gives important insights, methods and languaging to assist us in relieving this widespread problem.
Hugs, Gary
P.S. Thought for the day:
"The most important things we need to learn were never taught in school."
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At last weekend's San Diego Energy Conference, "Sharon" came running up to me to tell me how well she had been doing with her weight loss program since the EFT Specialty conference in Flagstaff, Arizona (March 18th) where she participated in my 3-hour presentation on Weight Loss with EFT. Below is part interview/ part narrative describing her progress in attitude, feelings and pounds.
Sharon had volunteered during a later portion of the Flagstaff workshop when I specifically asked for participants who didn't manifest a physical, visible weight problem, but had negative body image issues.
CAROL: What do you remember as part of the Flagstaff seminar that worked for you?
SHARON: When you asked us to remember times we had been shamed about our bodies, I started tapping and suddenly remembered a shaming comment from High School.
CAROL: Tell me what you remembered.
SHARON: I think we all tapped for "Even though they shamed me about my body..." and I remembered an incident when I was 16 years old and dancing the twist with MC. I thought I was really hot and MC said, "Gee, Sharon, you don't have much of a body, but you sure know how to use it!" I felt mortified when he said it and I felt terrible and surprised on stage when I remembered it and connected it with my poor body image. Then I tapped for "Even though MC shamed my body..." and "Even though he hurt my self-image..." until it subsided. I also think you asked us to tap for "Even though I feel inadequate, and my body's not enough..." which is how I've always felt about myself.
CAROL: And how has the tapping we did on stage helped you since then?
SHARON: I realized I have been trying to get "THAT BODY" since I was 16 (now in early fifties) which was impossible.
CAROL: What body?
SHARON: The body that MC said I didn't have and would never have. I no longer feel that I can't have THAT body. Now when I see beautiful women in the gym, I don't have to hate them, but I see models of the type of body I can have when I reach my goal weight.
CAROL: And you think unearthing and tapping for that shaming incident helped you lose weight?
SHARON: Absolutely. I've lost 7 pounds since then and the body shame is gone.
Sharon and I had trouble remembering exactly what other setups were used for tapping, but the general themes were sadness, shame regarding body image, and forgiving the people who shamed her. Examples were:
"Even though I hate my body..."
"Even though I'm mad at him/her for shaming me...." and
"Even though I forgive him/her for shaming me..."
CAROL: What else have you noticed?
SHARON: I am working out longer and harder at the gym and I'm loving it.
CAROL: That's new?
SHARON: Yes, it no longer seems like a chore. It's no longer a "should" or a "have to." I'm excited about it now.
CAROL: And what else have you noticed?
SHARON: The cravings in general are gone.
CAROL: You tapped in Flagstaff with the other participants for cravings?
SHARON: Yes, for all those cravings for chocolate and bread. "Even though I have terrible cravings..." and "Even though I don't want to give up my favorite food..." etc
CAROL: And "Even though I'll feel deprived if I give up my chocolate?"
SHARON: Right. And "Even though I'm afraid I won't feel safe without my food..." and "Even though I'm afraid to leave my comfort zone..."
CAROL: What else?
SHARON: My portion control is much better too. I no longer have this tormenting dialogue that went something like, "Should I, shouldn't I...If I eat it now I'll pay for it later...I'm not going to have it, but I wish I could..." I no longer feel the pressure that I have to lose weight. It feels like a choice now.
CAROL: Have you done much tapping yourself since the Flagstaff workshop?
SHARON: No, only a little for some cravings I had in the beginning. And for the exposure and vulnerability I felt when I was up on stage.
CAROL: What do you mean?
SHARON: I felt I didn't belong because I see myself as overweight and the others all seemed very thin to me. So I felt embarrassed and vulnerable and afraid everyone was thinking I didn't belong in that group when you asked for volunteers who weren't overweight.
CAROL: And the vulnerability subsided?
SHARON: Yes.
CAROL: And what else seemed significant?
SHARON: You gave me permission to say out loud all those nasty, ugly, hateful things that live in me about my body. It felt like infinite permission when you asked us to tap for "Even though I hate my body, and don't accept my body, I deeply and completely accept myself ANYWAY." And now I really do feel accepting of my body.
CAROL: Anything else?
SHARON: Yes, now I'm not so afraid of my deteriorating body as it gets flabby and loose as I age, but rather I'm focused on taking care of it and how to make it strong and healthy. And I have deep confidence, because I KNOW I can reach my goal now.
Dr. Carol Look
Hi Everyone,
This installment in Dr. Carol Look's weight loss series focuses on a client who, to the eyes of others, doesn't have a weight problem. To her own eyes, however, she is overweight with attendant negative body image issues.
Body image issues often serve to undermine self-confidence and thus anything we can do to resolve them points toward major life changes. Accordingly, Carol's message below gives important insights, methods and languaging to assist us in relieving this widespread problem.
Hugs, Gary
P.S. Thought for the day:
"The most important things we need to learn were never taught in school."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At last weekend's San Diego Energy Conference, "Sharon" came running up to me to tell me how well she had been doing with her weight loss program since the EFT Specialty conference in Flagstaff, Arizona (March 18th) where she participated in my 3-hour presentation on Weight Loss with EFT. Below is part interview/ part narrative describing her progress in attitude, feelings and pounds.
Sharon had volunteered during a later portion of the Flagstaff workshop when I specifically asked for participants who didn't manifest a physical, visible weight problem, but had negative body image issues.
CAROL: What do you remember as part of the Flagstaff seminar that worked for you?
SHARON: When you asked us to remember times we had been shamed about our bodies, I started tapping and suddenly remembered a shaming comment from High School.
CAROL: Tell me what you remembered.
SHARON: I think we all tapped for "Even though they shamed me about my body..." and I remembered an incident when I was 16 years old and dancing the twist with MC. I thought I was really hot and MC said, "Gee, Sharon, you don't have much of a body, but you sure know how to use it!" I felt mortified when he said it and I felt terrible and surprised on stage when I remembered it and connected it with my poor body image. Then I tapped for "Even though MC shamed my body..." and "Even though he hurt my self-image..." until it subsided. I also think you asked us to tap for "Even though I feel inadequate, and my body's not enough..." which is how I've always felt about myself.
CAROL: And how has the tapping we did on stage helped you since then?
SHARON: I realized I have been trying to get "THAT BODY" since I was 16 (now in early fifties) which was impossible.
CAROL: What body?
SHARON: The body that MC said I didn't have and would never have. I no longer feel that I can't have THAT body. Now when I see beautiful women in the gym, I don't have to hate them, but I see models of the type of body I can have when I reach my goal weight.
CAROL: And you think unearthing and tapping for that shaming incident helped you lose weight?
SHARON: Absolutely. I've lost 7 pounds since then and the body shame is gone.
Sharon and I had trouble remembering exactly what other setups were used for tapping, but the general themes were sadness, shame regarding body image, and forgiving the people who shamed her. Examples were:
"Even though I hate my body..."
"Even though I'm mad at him/her for shaming me...." and
"Even though I forgive him/her for shaming me..."
CAROL: What else have you noticed?
SHARON: I am working out longer and harder at the gym and I'm loving it.
CAROL: That's new?
SHARON: Yes, it no longer seems like a chore. It's no longer a "should" or a "have to." I'm excited about it now.
CAROL: And what else have you noticed?
SHARON: The cravings in general are gone.
CAROL: You tapped in Flagstaff with the other participants for cravings?
SHARON: Yes, for all those cravings for chocolate and bread. "Even though I have terrible cravings..." and "Even though I don't want to give up my favorite food..." etc
CAROL: And "Even though I'll feel deprived if I give up my chocolate?"
SHARON: Right. And "Even though I'm afraid I won't feel safe without my food..." and "Even though I'm afraid to leave my comfort zone..."
CAROL: What else?
SHARON: My portion control is much better too. I no longer have this tormenting dialogue that went something like, "Should I, shouldn't I...If I eat it now I'll pay for it later...I'm not going to have it, but I wish I could..." I no longer feel the pressure that I have to lose weight. It feels like a choice now.
CAROL: Have you done much tapping yourself since the Flagstaff workshop?
SHARON: No, only a little for some cravings I had in the beginning. And for the exposure and vulnerability I felt when I was up on stage.
CAROL: What do you mean?
SHARON: I felt I didn't belong because I see myself as overweight and the others all seemed very thin to me. So I felt embarrassed and vulnerable and afraid everyone was thinking I didn't belong in that group when you asked for volunteers who weren't overweight.
CAROL: And the vulnerability subsided?
SHARON: Yes.
CAROL: And what else seemed significant?
SHARON: You gave me permission to say out loud all those nasty, ugly, hateful things that live in me about my body. It felt like infinite permission when you asked us to tap for "Even though I hate my body, and don't accept my body, I deeply and completely accept myself ANYWAY." And now I really do feel accepting of my body.
CAROL: Anything else?
SHARON: Yes, now I'm not so afraid of my deteriorating body as it gets flabby and loose as I age, but rather I'm focused on taking care of it and how to make it strong and healthy. And I have deep confidence, because I KNOW I can reach my goal now.
Dr. Carol Look
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