Saturday, June 30, 2007

Part VI

Hi Everyone,

This installment in Dr. Carol Look's weight loss series focuses on a client who, to the eyes of others, doesn't have a weight problem. To her own eyes, however, she is overweight with attendant negative body image issues.

Body image issues often serve to undermine self-confidence and thus anything we can do to resolve them points toward major life changes. Accordingly, Carol's message below gives important insights, methods and languaging to assist us in relieving this widespread problem.

Hugs, Gary

P.S. Thought for the day:

"The most important things we need to learn were never taught in school."


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At last weekend's San Diego Energy Conference, "Sharon" came running up to me to tell me how well she had been doing with her weight loss program since the EFT Specialty conference in Flagstaff, Arizona (March 18th) where she participated in my 3-hour presentation on Weight Loss with EFT. Below is part interview/ part narrative describing her progress in attitude, feelings and pounds.

Sharon had volunteered during a later portion of the Flagstaff workshop when I specifically asked for participants who didn't manifest a physical, visible weight problem, but had negative body image issues.

CAROL: What do you remember as part of the Flagstaff seminar that worked for you?

SHARON: When you asked us to remember times we had been shamed about our bodies, I started tapping and suddenly remembered a shaming comment from High School.

CAROL: Tell me what you remembered.

SHARON: I think we all tapped for "Even though they shamed me about my body..." and I remembered an incident when I was 16 years old and dancing the twist with MC. I thought I was really hot and MC said, "Gee, Sharon, you don't have much of a body, but you sure know how to use it!" I felt mortified when he said it and I felt terrible and surprised on stage when I remembered it and connected it with my poor body image. Then I tapped for "Even though MC shamed my body..." and "Even though he hurt my self-image..." until it subsided. I also think you asked us to tap for "Even though I feel inadequate, and my body's not enough..." which is how I've always felt about myself.

CAROL: And how has the tapping we did on stage helped you since then?

SHARON: I realized I have been trying to get "THAT BODY" since I was 16 (now in early fifties) which was impossible.

CAROL: What body?

SHARON: The body that MC said I didn't have and would never have. I no longer feel that I can't have THAT body. Now when I see beautiful women in the gym, I don't have to hate them, but I see models of the type of body I can have when I reach my goal weight.

CAROL: And you think unearthing and tapping for that shaming incident helped you lose weight?

SHARON: Absolutely. I've lost 7 pounds since then and the body shame is gone.

Sharon and I had trouble remembering exactly what other setups were used for tapping, but the general themes were sadness, shame regarding body image, and forgiving the people who shamed her. Examples were:

"Even though I hate my body..."

"Even though I'm mad at him/her for shaming me...." and

"Even though I forgive him/her for shaming me..."

CAROL: What else have you noticed?

SHARON: I am working out longer and harder at the gym and I'm loving it.

CAROL: That's new?

SHARON: Yes, it no longer seems like a chore. It's no longer a "should" or a "have to." I'm excited about it now.

CAROL: And what else have you noticed?

SHARON: The cravings in general are gone.

CAROL: You tapped in Flagstaff with the other participants for cravings?

SHARON: Yes, for all those cravings for chocolate and bread. "Even though I have terrible cravings..." and "Even though I don't want to give up my favorite food..." etc

CAROL: And "Even though I'll feel deprived if I give up my chocolate?"

SHARON: Right. And "Even though I'm afraid I won't feel safe without my food..." and "Even though I'm afraid to leave my comfort zone..."

CAROL: What else?

SHARON: My portion control is much better too. I no longer have this tormenting dialogue that went something like, "Should I, shouldn't I...If I eat it now I'll pay for it later...I'm not going to have it, but I wish I could..." I no longer feel the pressure that I have to lose weight. It feels like a choice now.

CAROL: Have you done much tapping yourself since the Flagstaff workshop?

SHARON: No, only a little for some cravings I had in the beginning. And for the exposure and vulnerability I felt when I was up on stage.

CAROL: What do you mean?

SHARON: I felt I didn't belong because I see myself as overweight and the others all seemed very thin to me. So I felt embarrassed and vulnerable and afraid everyone was thinking I didn't belong in that group when you asked for volunteers who weren't overweight.

CAROL: And the vulnerability subsided?

SHARON: Yes.

CAROL: And what else seemed significant?

SHARON: You gave me permission to say out loud all those nasty, ugly, hateful things that live in me about my body. It felt like infinite permission when you asked us to tap for "Even though I hate my body, and don't accept my body, I deeply and completely accept myself ANYWAY." And now I really do feel accepting of my body.

CAROL: Anything else?

SHARON: Yes, now I'm not so afraid of my deteriorating body as it gets flabby and loose as I age, but rather I'm focused on taking care of it and how to make it strong and healthy. And I have deep confidence, because I KNOW I can reach my goal now.

Dr. Carol Look

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